Victim bashing is a process where the victim is gaslighted to believe that nothing wrong happened with him and it is his/her fault that he/she is feeling a particular way.
There are different ways in which Victim Bashing occurs. I am going to share my experience here.
So I made a complaint against some mischievous elements at my workplace and the very next day they were posted in my particular department.
This event shattered my faith in the authority at the workplace and from that day till today I don’t feel safe there. This is called poor management.
This event has changed my life and I became less vocal about my problems. With the passage of years, it started developing fear and self-doubt in me and my mind was always occupied with negative thoughts.
This led me to self-blaming and self-doubting my self-worth. It made me hate myself. And self-hatred is the worst thing that could ever happen to anybody.
On the other hand, the majority of the office was completely with the authority and they believed whatever was fed to their lame minds. From that day till date, I have faced strong bullies. They are hundreds in numbers.
Nobody knows about my side of the story. Being an introvert, I don’t open up to people easily. Plus at office it has been all about work and stuff.
I come from a metropolitan city. So I had this habit of socialising and talking to people and getting to know different thoughts and cultures. I used to be very bubbly and always super active in communication and meeting new people.
But my workplace experience has changed me entirely. It’s a small town. Plus people in the office are really narrow-minded. They couldn’t digest a girl to be this vocal about misdeeds happening in the office.
I was never against any particular person. I just raised my voice where It was required. And now I am facing its consequences because apparently girls are expected to suffer silently.
This is just a brief of what I have been facing. And when your actions backfire, it creates doubt in you and your thought process. It shatters your existence. You have to re-raise yourself out of such trauma. You have to relearn everything.
After a certain point, I realised that I was never wrong. I should have never doubted myself. It was the wrong place and the wrong timing. Or maybe wrong people. But I was right in my actions.
But the trauma I have suffered for these many years can’t compensate for anything now.
Victim Bashing is the worst kind of behaviour. But it strongly exists in the world. I am sure about India, at least.
Only self-love can heal you. Only self-belief can help you come out of it. It will surely take time. But will happen eventually.