Victim Bashing

Victim bashing is a process where the victim is gaslighted to believe that nothing wrong happened with him and it is his/her fault that he/she is feeling a particular way.

There are different ways in which Victim Bashing occurs. I am going to share my experience here.

So I made a complaint against some mischievous elements at my workplace and the very next day they were posted in my particular department.

This event shattered my faith in the authority at the workplace and from that day till today I don’t feel safe there. This is called poor management.

This event has changed my life and I became less vocal about my problems. With the passage of years, it started developing fear and self-doubt in me and my mind was always occupied with negative thoughts.

This led me to self-blaming and self-doubting my self-worth. It made me hate myself. And self-hatred is the worst thing that could ever happen to anybody.

On the other hand, the majority of the office was completely with the authority and they believed whatever was fed to their lame minds. From that day till date, I have faced strong bullies. They are hundreds in numbers.

Nobody knows about my side of the story. Being an introvert, I don’t open up to people easily. Plus at office it has been all about work and stuff.

I come from a metropolitan city. So I had this habit of socialising and talking to people and getting to know different thoughts and cultures. I used to be very bubbly and always super active in communication and meeting new people.

But my workplace experience has changed me entirely. It’s a small town. Plus people in the office are really narrow-minded. They couldn’t digest a girl to be this vocal about misdeeds happening in the office.

I was never against any particular person. I just raised my voice where It was required. And now I am facing its consequences because apparently girls are expected to suffer silently.

This is just a brief of what I have been facing. And when your actions backfire, it creates doubt in you and your thought process. It shatters your existence. You have to re-raise yourself out of such trauma. You have to relearn everything.

After a certain point, I realised that I was never wrong. I should have never doubted myself. It was the wrong place and the wrong timing. Or maybe wrong people. But I was right in my actions.

But the trauma I have suffered for these many years can’t compensate for anything now.

Victim Bashing is the worst kind of behaviour. But it strongly exists in the world. I am sure about India, at least.

Only self-love can heal you. Only self-belief can help you come out of it. It will surely take time. But will happen eventually.

7 thoughts on “Victim Bashing

      1. It is hard to be in that environment but there is a truth that these individuals will never reveal: They are miserable and are projecting that on to their colleagues. Remember that your dignity and self worth belong to you exclusively and no-one’s attitude can destroy that.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. This means a lot… Thankyou for such appreciation ❤😇 and yea the projection thing is damn true.. I have seen it. The more insecure a person is, the more judgmental he becomes.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Awww you keep your chin up girl 💁!!!! You have already dealt with the hardest part that is being vocal about what you don’t like, seriously not everyone has the guts to do this!!!! I can understand how it feels because victim bashing is so deeply rooted in our society that it doesn’t feel wrong anymore!!!! I don’t know if this will ever change but at least you did the right thing on your part 💟💟💟

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Since you latest post has no comment section (as it seems), I write here.
    Thank you for all the time here with you on WP.

    In case you might really decide to delete the blog, as I also almost did a few times or almost did I should say, I would just wish that you are safe out there, wherever you might be.
    And if it would be for me, your blog could stay, but it is yours. In case you might not be sure whether you really want to just delete everything, since I don’t know whether you have some of the things you wrote on paper or somewhere else, you could also export all of it to somewhere, in case you might want to go through it at some point, should things still be there the way they are now.

    I would only let you go, if I would know you would be still there.
    Thank you for all you words and sorry for my confusion, I might have brought.
    And I still don’t know whether you have watched that show, but it’s alright.
    And when I can do something to help you with something, let me know.
    My “good byes” are sometimes forever and when I say them, I want to be dead or gone or something, although I tell others, that it is just this or that. Maybe lie about the reason.
    Leave the internet or a blog is one thing, would people be able to get help or be respected and cared about, we might not even need it or things would in general be a lot different.
    Whoever you might be away from the screen, I would be happy, if I would be able to meet you one day or maybe just see you somewhere or hear about you and know you are alright.

    I am someone (as you might have noticed….) who is pretty weird and messed up at times or just confused, sometimes cold or creepy, although I don’t want that, might do it just to scare others away, protect myself or just don’t know sometimes…

    For someone like you and a lot of others out there who went through shit, got ignored, broken and all these things, I would do all I can to help, to be there, to make sure you will be here and not gone and that things change for all of us.

    I usually felt as if I would make everyone’s life only worse by telling them about myself or what thoughts come and go or what others told me and so on. Knowing that some of it makes no sense, that some of it would be just messed up things for others or maybe everyone. But then when many feel this way and no one speaks anything about it, how should they know they are alone?

    Thank you for your posts and for letting me write this post about “Death vs. Patience”.
    Should you still want to delete everything, please be good to yourself and safe out there.
    I know I might have written some things on my blog out of despair, fear, hate or anger, but also all kinds of other feelings, emotions and things. Half of the time not knowing why or what or how.
    I look at some of it and think: “Why have you done that… you are just causing more trouble as always…” but not all of the things are like this and if people would go through all of it, read or listen to the end, they would know how we really feel or think and that some harsh words might only be said out of the situation we are in or find ourselves in. Like an animal in a trap or corner.

    I am just someone out there, maybe even someone you think is a bad person, could be…
    People have thought all kinds of things about me, said things, did things, but I know not all of it can be true and I know that I wasn’t these things and didn’t want them, until I gave up.

    I once read a book in which a boy was called something similar to devil or something and then people were always calling him like this and so on, until he became something similar.
    When the expectation of others or their stupid words wouldn’t leave these deep scars… (I am also guilty of it, when I was nothing doing against it or at times saying things myself while being lost myself). I know why I was better of staying quiet most of my life and I wish that I would have in some cases, but not when I was able to safe a life or just give something good, instead of empty silence.

    If I would know that all I wrote or said, be it in whatever conditions or mood or what, and others would know and understand and not think I want to support shit or whatever or like this or that shit, I would never have feared to talk, to write or that anyone could see what is in my head.
    Especially when a lot of it was things I couldn’t understand, couldn’t handle or just was afraid of, but thought it wouldn’t matter anyway or people would think or say “I have also problems, get along with it, let go”. But then if everyone would do that, we all could also just run down a cliff and be over with things. And that would be horrible, since I would never want anyone to just fall or jump down a cliff or anything like that. When an accident happens, someone gets hit by something, a loose stone from a rock for example, that is painful enough, but people walking down cliffs themselves, since they seem out of options or just nothing seems to change, it breaks my heart because I would love to be with them. Even if they would hurt me at first, as long as I would know that things would finally change for good.

    I would wish to see so many places, nature’s wonders and people, wouldn’t I be so afraid to just say one wrong word and then they would hate me forever. I only leave people, when I feel that I am hurting them, be a burden to them or think they are better of without me. If I would know it isn’t this way, I would have no reason. As long as they would be willing to open up themselves at some point. No matter what my father does or did, if he would stop one day, I would also be happy to have him around, just for now I can’t because there was too much hurt.

    Thank you that you are here. And as always, think what you want about me, but don’t think you are unwanted or irrelevant or something. ❤ 💜

    Like

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