Last breath

Do you ever get that feeling that this might be your last breath? That some universal force is trying to take away your soul? That you might die the very next second if you do not wake up from your sleep?

I just felt the same. Woke up from sleep after a bit of struggle. It felt like my soul was about to leave my body. It felt like I might die and no one would get to know about it. It felt like if I dont wake up I will die in my sleep. The feeling was supercrazy.

I really don’t know what caused this. But it was petrifying.

We don’t really realise for how long the trauma stays with us. It’s the experiences like these which makes it evident that the healing isn’t done completely and there is still something left to be done right.

Even after taking heavy dose of medicines I am not able to sleep. My body wants to. But my soul doesn’t. Or maybe it’s my mind. I really don’t know.

I just wish and hope the trauma fades away with the passage of time. I don’t want to stay stuck in the same loop.

My only wish this year is that I want to move ahead in life and leave all the traumatic memories behind.

And this time I don’t even want to know Why it happened, Who triggered what.

I just want to move away from the place and the negative memories asap.

I hope The Universe grants me my wish this year.

Though this wish has been the wish for so many years now.

Its going to be my birthday in the next three days. And I have made my wish to the universe.

Wish me Luck!

26 thoughts on “Last breath

              1. Actually there is or should be.
                My mother for example found a few people online, who were interviewed by people. One of them was a woman who was living somewhere in the woods in Russia. She had made he own house and other things and lived there mostly on her own with her animals.

                And as long as we have water, food and such basic things, we could get along without a mega-society based around a concept which shouldn’t exist. I believe that it is possible to live without it, when people would do things for each other because they want to and not because they have to. Since usually money is a dependency used to control others or trick them.

                I almost had that here, when my grandfather was still alive and maybe could have it again without much changes, if my parents would finally be free from their miseries and be happy.

                I can’t survive in a world just based around money. ❀

                “Wo ein Wille ist, da ist auch ein Weg.”
                “Where there is a will, there is a way.”

                (But I know that in a city or such, it is not possible. Maybe one day.)

                Liked by 1 person

          1. And in case you are planing to do something on your birthday. Please stay here okay? Maybe there be robots or whatever, I don’t want you to die! ❀

            Besides that. Is there anything I might be able to do for you? And did you watch Stargate, since you meant you might do it. It is okay if not. And although it might mean nothing and I don’t know you, everyone who passed my way and didn’t hurt me willingly, should deserve to be free from all these crazy things which happened here and are happening to this day. I really don’t know what you went through. But I hope for us both we will live and heal. I hope you are safe and not in danger. :/ πŸ€—πŸ˜” πŸ’œπŸ’›

            Liked by 1 person

            1. M absolutely fine… Birthday was good as well… Thanks for your warm wishes… It means a lot. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’›

              And I got so busy in daily routine that I completely forgot about Stargate but i will watch it for sure.

              The only thing you can do is Pray.. Pray for the negative people to become positive and learn empathy.. It will benefit this universe. ❀

              Liked by 1 person

              1. And in case things should ne horrible for you, you don’t have to hide it, okay?

                No worries about Stargate. For me it just was one of the life savers during my life. Being the child of a narcissist and an empath, while both were somewhat religeous and fighting each othe, marked me forever. But Stargate and a lot of other things gave me hope and also things to wrap my head around, instead of just freaking out and breaking (usually inside or when I was alone).

                I pray and hope and did what I could. I still don’t know what I shall do with my blog. It looks like a book filled with everything negative and positive there might be and has a lot of scary, crazy and terrible things in it. I am really not sure what to do about it. I had to do it, otherwise I would not have survived. Somehow this book / blog might represent all the hate and anger there is because I had it all inside me. I really don’t know. I just hope it will take a good turn. I don’t want to continue collecting all these negative things, while I can’t keep them and also shouldn’t. I don’t know when I will really feel safe again for a long time or really be able to trust other people. I just hope hiding away a little will be okay.

                I would love to have a universe full of empathic and lovely beings. And maybe not so many negative ones. ❀

                As always, thank you for being here. πŸ’œπŸ’›

                Liked by 1 person

  1. Relatable. I’ve gone through this phase but still don’t understand why it happens all of a sudden. I wish that you may find peace and good sleep throughout. Stay well.

    Advance happy birthday dear. Have a colourful year ahead. ❀️❀️😍😍

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope things turned out the way you needed them on your birthday.
    Either way, I hope you are okay and wish this year to be better for you, although I of course know that it can be quite the opposite. πŸ’œ
    Hopefully your wish wasn’t granted, in case it would have meant you are gone now.
    It is good to have you here, although we all could need some more assurance, that we are not alone with what we fear, feel and dream about, may it be weird, magical or just ordinary things.
    I will take time off computer for a while, I have to for my own good. Thank you for being here and reading some of my comments or stuff. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yea Birthday turned out to be super amazing..

      And, I am here and I will be …. I dont think I will ever stop writing on this blog.. It has helped me regain myself and pulled me back from hell…

      And I have met some amazing people here. This blog is going to exist forever. 🌠

      Liked by 1 person

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